The Thick as Frick sticker collection is a proclamation of horsecockery
Becoming Thick as FRICK requires tremendous gusto, bulbous cojones, and EXTREME ACTS OF HORSECOCKERY. These are traits that lead to astounding girth and, if I’m being honest, the reality is our girth is our truest worth. So why not let the world know you’re a girthy son of a gun?! That’s exactly why the Thick as Frick stickers exist…to spread the sacred message of anti-pencilneck shittery far and wide.
And let’s face it… one sticker is never enough.
You need one on your laptop to assert dominance over plate pencilnecks at the office. You need one on your water canteen to proclaim that while yes, you need proper hydration BUT you ain’t no soft daffodil. Of course you need one on your squat rack to properly signal to the masses that shit’s about to get HOISTED! Lastly, you’ll need one for your toolbox to warn folks that yes, you’ll try to fix it but you can’t make any guarantees because you’re too bulbous, thick, and girthy and very well may overpower the issue thus rendering the damage even worse. Frick it, you’ll also need one on your car’s bumper so every poor pencilneck stuck in traffic behind you can reflect on their life choices.
“BUT WHY?!” the trembling pencilnecks ask.
Because every time your eyes land on these stickers, you’ll be reminded of life’s greatest truth: Becoming THICK AS FRICK is life’s ultimate joy but it ain’t coming easy without grotesque displays of horsecockery. Each sticker is a bold declaration of TOP CHOOKERY, a badge of honor for those who hoist, heft, and heave HUMUNGOUS loads, and undeniable proof that you are not nor will you EVER be Johnny Pencilneck. So go ahead and slap these STICKY PROCLAMATIONS wherever you may roam and let the world know exactly where you stand in today’s hot climate of pencilneckery.